Monday, August 24, 2009

The First Day.

halo people.
my mum was discharged from the hosp is the first day i took care of her at home.i felt so tired. after arrived from the hosp last nite, i took out all of her clothes, the blanket, and all, put it in the washing machine. im kinda paranoid about H1N1 cases. i double clean everything that came from there. the plates, mugs and tupperwares.our fridge now full with oranges, apples and pears. it was all from the visitors.

my mum is a perfectionist. at ths moment i dun think i can stand on my feet. i vacuum the house twice per day. rearrange everything on the kitchen cabinet. went out and bought groceries. defrost the fridge. clean up the fridge.i wake up early to prepare sahur and at the evening cook for buke puase. since im the only child, so i'll take the responsibility.i cant sleep and i called ikhwani. ive been talking to her alot lately. i feel happy having her around
im feeling like crying because i am so damn tired. i locked the room just now when mum fell asleep. turned on the ipod and blast the music to the maximum. did a lil dancing, jumping, etc.i havent do that for a very long time. but i feel quiet stress. the last time i danced in front of public
was during 2006. with nazera and lisya. but the most embrassing moment was in 2003.
when i lost myself during the dirrtyy song by christina aguilera. my heels were too high, and i jump on the crowd.haha stupid*

well, good night people.
im watching america next top model now.
hope that caridee will win.
owh im so late. this is the previous season
but i hvnt watch it yet. ;P

Friday, August 21, 2009

The Lemon

The Lemon~

i was dining at sushi king egate when this smell strucked me.
a ch*nese couple sitting next to me ordered a plate of salmon skin and when they squeezed
the lemon, those smell reminding me of someone.
hezri and i love to hve iced lemon tea whenever we went out. it was light and easy.
plus its the cheapest drink u can get, besides the soft drinks.
everytime i smell the lemon or hve the lemonade i'll think of him.

we were in fight this afternoon, but hezri obviously knew how to make me laugh again.
sometimes his lil action makes me laugh so hard
im not going to compliment my own BF
but he was the perfect guy i ever met so far.
maybe not perfect for u, but for me :)
i closed my heart for love until i met him
he dun take less than he deserve
he knows when to walk away
thats i adore him so much
hes a honorable man :)
saying good things about ur own bf, makes people vomitting on the spot,
but if it is true
why not?

happy fasting people ;)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The twitter

i twitter alot.
huhu sometimes i feel that twitter is more interesting
compared to faceb**k.
it is more straight to the point. just update ur latest activity
and thats it. ur done.
unlike faceb**k. people tends to show off and all,
but i do love to see show-off-people profile.
at least i got something to laugh for.

i will be finishing my practicum tomorrow, cannnnttttt waiiittttt~
cant stand the heavy works anymore :(
but obviously, i wanna go back.
in case if u still din knw. my mum was admitted to hosp.
since 15th august.
she feels lonely and has no one to talk to.
i wanna go back as fast as i can
so i can be with her all day long.

tonight im going to masjid bukit tambun
for a solat hajat and bacaan yasin
* esp for year 6 students.
gonna be there around 715
dunno what to wear yet


Sunday, August 16, 2009

The book

i found a book. not any novel, or love story book
but a motivation book

"how to be happy without being perfect"

the title already gave me some good impression.
its in all of us,
we are not perfect.
but we can be perfectly happy.

stress on how to be happy without being perfect,
think i must get the book. because im tired of the high expectation
i feel so stress when m not perfect. when people keep on judging
sometimes i do feel the pressure when the cousins treat my mum better
when my mum sees things in people but in me, she dont.
when hezri complained about my short term memory
what if i get old and lost my track, will he still love me?
im only 22 and i cant memorize things
what if i turn 40?
maybe the story will end up,
the forgetful granny at the end of the road
who lives alone.

just like aaroon said to serena in gossip girl,
i dun wanna say no to all the things that i wanna say yes to.
sometimes i feel quite diff because people keep on pushing me
to do things that i dislike
and forcing me to take something i dun want to
but i dun hve any choices
if i say, no. then i'll be imperfect
i'll be useless daughter or stupid gf
i'll be the reason for the anger they feel for me
i cant speak up my mind because it cant be heard
if i let it go, it would be better for 'em
but what about me?

i think this book is a guide for me,
to be happy without being perfect. obviously i know
that i cant be perfect but i wanna be happy
i deserve to be happy
maybe by reading this book
it wont make any differences, it wont change anything
but at least
it'll change me :)
or makes me feel a lil bit good
since it was so hard to find calmness in this life
or maybe
it'll help to motivate me to go on my life
happily without being perfect.
maybe it'll help to focus on a new thing in my life
or making a new move.
i seriously shud go and get it.

i use alot 'without being perfect'
to stress that im not perfect
at all.

people !

Thursday, August 13, 2009

The heart

that was made to be broken

i turned out into someone else lately

i change alot

alot of people realized it

im sorry.

im just too stress and pressure

with the heavy works

be patience honey, theres only one week left

and i will be 24 hours yours again :)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The tea party

The tea party

tons of work makes me realize that
it wud be very nice if i can pamper myself with a simple tea party

an afternoon tea, perhaps?

it could be some tea with scones

or cuppies

anything will do.

just make it simple
and romantic

i simply love it.


Thursday, August 6, 2009

The busy bee

Ola peeps!

ive been busy for these past few weeks with works, and works and works and works.
i realized that ive been such a selfish person. i put my work first, strunggle to be the best and
the result is, everything went to drain.
i rarely col home, because i dun hve much time to do that.
i din get enuff sleep. sleep late at night and woke up at 515am,
i was tired and sometimes lost interest in the daily life activities.
my mum din complained much because she knw i was busy but still
her blood pressure increase. she also din get enuff sleep, worrying about me.
im sorry mum. i'll send parcel for u soon, kayh?

and hezri, i said to him that i feel difficult to talk to him lately,
but i was thinking, maybe i am the one who being difficult to talk to.
after our conservation last nite, i suddenly realized, how ignorant ive been.
he was waiting for me everyday to talk to me,
and makes me feel better each day. and i realized how much i miss him.
he is my right hand, i cant do anything without him.
he's always here, teaching me how to share feeling,
how to express love.
he guided me, to control my anger.
to remind me, that i dun hve to take the burden alone
because i got him.
for everything u did, abang
thank u.

i want to take everything slowly now.
no more stress,
no more pressure.
focus on the happy side.
the boyfriend, the family and the bestfriends.


Monday, August 3, 2009

The Happiness

some people said that they wud do anything just to be happy
tired of feeling lonely and sad.
tired of crying in the rain, sleep alone at night.

some of us also din care about happiness,
they dun wan 2 hve babies, to make sure their body shape din change.
they dun wan to get married, afraid the pressure or commitment
will adding up their wrinkles.
they dun wan any partners, afraid that they'll look old
they dun wan to be in love, afraid it will increase their weight
they dun wan to be loved,scared of the gray hair

alot of people wud go to the end of world just to find her soulmates
but dun be surprise,
alot of people also will go anywhere to avoid happiness
now i understand why beautiful women and
charming guys, didnt get married
i understand why my pretty friends still din hv
any boyfriend, din care about love
i understand why my gorgeous friends stay single
if it is true,
it this is the real thing, better than those expensive cosmestics.
wud u give it a try?

well, i wudnt.
know why?
i prefer to wake up everymorning and thinking about the one that i love
i prefer to go home and someone is waiting for me
i prefer to have someone to hold
i prefer to hve someone beside me during the joy and the pain
i prefer to share mylife with my other half
i prefer to explore the world with my partner
i prefer to learn more about my other half and be a better person
i prefer to grow old and still looking beautiful in my partner eyes

and the list goes on..

Saturday, August 1, 2009

The proposal

Hang out with Bushra and Kak Na yesterday. went to sunway because of SKII members day promotion. thank god there were only us during that time so we can persuaded may (the salesgirl) to give us more free gifts. :D

we went to the another stores,i bought a new handbag and then lunch at pizza hut.
next, entered to every kids shop for ben10 watch hunting. danish ( kak na's youngest boy )
begging her to get a ben10 watch. he wanted it so much, he even made one from the paper, staple it, just like a real watch. drew the cartoon on it. color it green and wearing it all day long, alaa siannye ;(

then, Kak Na need to rush back, we continued our activities and went for a movie,
The Proposal, the movie was so sweet. u gotta watch it. the actor completely like hezri, innocent and sweet :P

after that booya and i heading to Juru auto city for dinner.
at first we decided to go to Ice ice baby and get some waffles but the place looked
quite full. theres a long queue outside sushi king, and i dun feel like havin subway.
so we just lined up and try our luck.
luckily, theres a spot for two. yeayy.
arrived home at 1130 and sleep right away.

something bad happened at school. i dun want talk about it.
plus that boy wasnt even in my class. n i will only see his face for an hour
on tuesday's english lesson.
thank god.



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