For a friend #2

salam all,

i guess all of you know that my friend, H is sick. i tak pernah menangis lagi since i know about the news. maybe sebab i dont know what i should feel. and i rasa i takde hak nak menangis.
then last night, my bf went to visit him. H told him how sorry he was for everything he did to us. and what he did to me. last night also, i failed. i cried myself to sleep..

salah seorang kawan H called me few weeks ago, inform H sakit, and do you know what i think? i think, "we broke up, its not my problem anymore but i wish him well"
selfish and mean. seriously selfish and mean.

then i received more calls from his friends. so i give in. i called H. he was calm. that was before he knew he had SLE.

and now, im sitting in front of this lappy, thinking what should i write.. for hours. so many things to say, so many things to apologize.

i regret for being a mean selfish ayya. i am not usually like that.

i need to clear my head. ta!

xoxo