Sunday, October 30, 2011

Someday you'll know..

Salam all,

Not a good day for me as i received a text message from my colleague, around 830pm, saying " Ayya, anak aku dah meninggal.."

she was pregnant for 8 months. Tinggal another one month je before due date. then, she received this bad news. i cant imagine her sadness.
i was staring at my phone for about 15 minutes, thinking what i should say to her..
rasanya macam baru je semalam duk mengusik dia pasal kuat sangat shopping online. beli baju baby lah, beli tungku baby pun online. i pun sibuk bagi opinion mana yang lawa, mana yang x lawa.
and few weeks ago, she told me, she cannot feel any movements in her womb. but we thought maybe her baby wasnt so active like others.
and when she was on her way to the hospital for check up this evening, we were sms-ing, talking about Jewel In The Palace, that famous korean series. i thought everything is going to be fine..

it took me so long to decide either i should call her or not...  if i call, what should say? i dont know the right thing to say at this situation. then after a very looooooooooong thought, i decided to tell her the truth,
" Ayya nak call k.zura tapi tatau ape patut cakap"

 i dont know how it feels like to lose a baby..

kak zura and i, we are so close. she is like a sister to me. i shared stories, personal problems, work problems. i told her almost everything. about love life, about family. basically EVERYTHING.
and i enjoy talking to her because she is a smart person. she always thinks positively about others.

and i remember how happy she was on the first day she knew she was pregnant..

and the real reason why it took me so long to finally call her, is because im afraid i cant keep myself together.
im afraid im the one who burst into tears if i hear her voice.
that is the worst thing to happen.

but now, i wish her nothing but the best. i hope shes gonna be tough and strong.
remember, Allah hanya menguji hamba Nya yang mampu menerima ujian.

xoxo :(

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